Wishing You Blessings

May the blessings of the season be yours!

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Be Grateful

I am often inspired by the writing of others. Here’s a poem that really speaks to me and, I hope, to you.

To An English Friend in Africa

by Ben Okri

Be grateful for the freedom to see other dreams. Bless your loneliness as much as you drank of your former companionships. All that you are experiencing now will become moods of future joys. So bless it all.

Do not think your way superior to another’s. Do not venture to judge, but see things with fresh and open eyes. Do not condemn, but praise when you can, and when you can’t, be silent.

Time now is a gift for you. A gift of freedom to think and remember and understand the ever perplexing past and to recreate yourself anew in order to transform time.

Live while you are alive. Learn the ways of silence and wisdom. Learn to act, learn a new speech. Learn to be what you are in the seed of your spirit. Learn to free yourself from all the things that have moulded you and which limit your secret and undiscovered road.

Remember that all things which happen to you are raw materials. Endlessly fertile. Endlessly yielding of thoughts that could change your life and go on doing so forever.

Never forget to pray and be thankful for all things good or bad on the rich road; for everything is changeable so long as you live while you are alive.

Fear not, but be full of light and love. Fear not, but be alert and receptive. Fear not, but act decisively when you should. Fear not, but know when to stop. Fear not, for you are loved by me. Fear not, for death is not the real terror, but life magically is.

Be joyful in your silence, be strong in your patience. Do not try to wrestle with the universe, but be sometimes like water or air, sometimes like fire, and constant like the earth.

Live slowly, think slowly, for time is a mystery. Never forget that love requires always that you be the greatest person you are capable of being, self-regenerating and strong and gentle–your own hero and star.

Love demands the best in us. To always and in time overcome the worst and lowest in our souls. Love the world wisely.  It is love alone that is the greatest weapon and the deepest and hardest secret.

So fear not, my friend. The darkness is gentler than you think. Be grateful for the manifold, dreams of creation, and the many ways of the unnumbered peoples.

Be grateful for life as you live it. And may a wonderful light always guide you on the unfolding road.

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To Love, Honour and … Bless

In many traditional religious marriage ceremonies in the Western world, the woman’s vows often include a promise to love, honour and obey. I’ve never liked the “obey” part. It’s always made me feel as if the woman becomes her husband’s slave once married, giving up her right to think for herself, have her own opinions and make her own choices.

I’ve sometimes heard the last word changed to “cherish”, and that feels like a more loving action that both husband and wife can agree to, at least initially. Maintaining that attitude toward your partner in times of anger and frustration isn’t always easy!

Lately I’ve been pondering the idea of shifting it to “bless”.

Think about it for a moment. When you bless someone or something, it’s an expression of appreciation and gratitude. Imagine if that was the approach you took every day to the partner in your life.

What if your first thought on opening your eyes and seeing the face of your beloved was to bless him or her for coming into your life? And what if that were the last thought you had at night, kissing your partner and blessing the gift of the time you’ve had together?

How would that change the tone of the day, and the quality of your sleep?

Let’s take it one step further. The next time you’re in disagreement, what if you could take one step back, pause and reflect for a moment on one thing you appreciate about this person? Sure you’re angry in that moment, but anger, like all emotions, comes and goes and only lasts if we choose to hang onto it. By finding one thing to appreciate about each other, you are able to take the intensity of your discussion down a few notches, and shift its perspective.

If all else fails, just go back in your mind to when you first met and those exciting initial weeks and months together. What drew you together? And what memorable moments have you shared since then? Bless those experiences, and then you may find you’re looking at your partner with softer eyes. From there, all challenges are easier to face.

And so, may you find blessings in all your relationships today.

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